Urban Martial Arts

My Child Is Afraid to Try New Things. What Can I Do?

March 26, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Throughout March 2012, we’ll be working on the concept of “courage.”

All our discussions and activities will aim to help our students understand that courage is not the absence of fear, as many children might think. Rather, courage is how we cope with fears in the face of challenge.

Powerful Words is the name of our character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts. It’s designed by one of the nation’s leading childhood development experts, Dr. Robyn Silverman. Every month, we’ll focus on a different Powerful Word, or concept around character development.

In this post, Dr. Robyn answers a question from a parent who wants her child not to be so afraid of trying new things.

Dear Dr. Robyn,

– Maddie F; New South Wales, AU

Dear Maddie F,

It can be frustrating to know that your children can achieve great things when they won’t give new things a try.

Of course, everyone has some degree of fears. The trick here is to help your child be more courageous in the face of fear. Try the following:

(1) Check yourself:
Make sure that you aren’t inadvertently reinforcing your child’s role as the “scared one” by labeling or comparing him/her with your other child. Children tend to live up to the expectation we set for them.

(2) Start small:
Try taking baby steps. If your child, for example, won’t go out for the team, maybe s/he would be open to being the score-keeper or assistant. If s/he won’t try a new meal, try incorporating one new item into something s/he already loves. A bunch of baby steps can lead to one big one. Read the rest of this entry »

How Can I Teach My Child to Be More Courageous?

March 20, 2012 • 1 Comment

Throughout March 2012, we’ll be working on the concept of “courage.”

All our discussions and activities will aim to help our students understand that courage is not the absence of fear, as many children might think. Rather, courage is how we cope with fears in the face of challenge.

Powerful Words is the name of our character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts. It’s designed by one of the nation’s leading childhood development experts, Dr. Robyn Silverman. Every month, we’ll focus on a different Powerful Word, or concept around character development.

In this video, Dr. Robyn answers a question from a mother whose son is always very nervous whenever he starts something new. She’d like to know what suggestions Dr. Robyn has for her:

To give you more ideas for conversation topics, here’s a run-down of what we’ll be discussing over the next 4 weeks:

Week 1 Courage defined: What does courage mean? What are people scared of?
Week 2 Taking healthy risks: How can I try new things & meet new people?
Week 3 Courage & Values: How can I stand up for what I think is right and fair?
Week 4 Keeping Control: How can I calm myself down and make good choices?

We’d love to hear how your conversations go with your child so do share with us!

Courage Quotes: 5 Awesome Quotes About Courage

March 15, 2012 • 1 Comment

Throughout March 2012, we’ll be working on the concept of “courage.”

All our discussions and activities will aim to help our students understand that courage is not the absence of fear, as many children might think. Rather, courage is how we cope with fears in the face of challenge.

Powerful Words is the name of our character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts. It’s designed by one of the nation’s leading childhood development experts, Dr. Robyn Silverman. Every month, we’ll focus on a different Powerful Word, or concept around character development.

To inspire your own discussions at home, here are five of our all-time favorite quotes about courage:

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
—Walt Disney

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities… because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”
—Winston Churchill

“The reward doesn’t necessarily go to the biggest, the brightest, or the best. It goes to the one who has the courage to keep trying until success is inevitably achieved.”
—Dr. Robyn Silverman

“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.”
—Aristotle

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.“
—Steve Jobs

To give you more ideas for conversation topics, here’s a run-down of what we’ll be discussing over the next 4 weeks:

Week 1 Courage defined: What does courage mean? What are people scared of?
Week 2 Taking healthy risks: How can I try new things & meet new people?
Week 3 Courage & Values: How can I stand up for what I think is right and fair?
Week 4 Keeping Control: How can I calm myself down and make good choices?

We’d love to hear how your conversations go with your child so do share with us!

Photo Credit: Leonard John Matthews on stock.xchng

March’s Powerful Word Is Courage

March 7, 2012 • 1 Comment

It’s the beginning of a new month, and that means it’s time for a new Powerful Word!

Throughout March 2012, we’ll be working on the concept of “courage.”

All our discussions and activities will aim to help our students understand that courage is not the absence of fear, as many children might think. Rather, courage is how we cope with fears in the face of challenge.

Powerful Words is the name of our character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts. It’s designed by one of the nation’s leading childhood development experts, Dr. Robyn Silverman. Every month, we’ll focus on a different Powerful Word, or concept around character development.

Here’s a video from Dr. Robyn Silverman in which she introduces some of the concepts we’ll be covering this month:

Courage is not the absence of fear, as many children might think. Rather, courage is how we cope with fears in the face of challenge. In fact, as parents and mentors, it’s important that we let children know that everyone (even heroes!) gets scared sometimes. It’s how we cope with those fears that dictates our level of courage.

Of course there are reasons why we get scared. Some of those reasons are protective. In other words, we’re scared because fear can keep us safe. Perhaps we had a bad experience in the past and we don’t want a repeat performance. Or, maybe our gut is telling us something isn’t quite right.

Other times fears emerge from our imagination. We worry about what might happen– even if it’s unlikely. These are the times that courage lends a hand. Courage comes in handy in many circumstances. We need courage to try new things and meet new people. We need courage to stand up for our values and what we believe is right. We also need courage to move forward towards realizing our goals. All we need to do is calm ourselves down so we can make good choices!

It turns out that taking healthy risks is an important part of courage. One study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies a few years ago showed
that those children who are more courageous and who take more healthy risks have lower levels of anxiety (Muris, 2009).

A Cornell University study out in the beginning of this year tells us though that sometimes we have an “illusion of courage” before we are actually faced with the challenge. So it’s not surprising that at the moment of truth, we sometimes back away in fear (January, 2012). At those moments, extra support is often needed.

This month, please share with your children all the ways you have shown courage. Demonstrate to them what courage looks like by trying new things and taking healthy risks. You are their role model!

To give you more ideas for conversation topics, here’s a run-down of what we’ll be discussing over the next 4 weeks:

Week 1 Courage defined: What does courage mean? What are people scared of?
Week 2 Taking healthy risks: How can I try new things & meet new people?
Week 3 Courage & Values: How can I stand up for what I think is right and fair?
Week 4 Keeping Control: How can I calm myself down and make good choices?

We’d love to hear how your conversations go with your child so do share with us!

About Dr. Robyn:
Dr. Robyn Silverman, child development specialist, body image/body bullying expert, sought-after speaker and award-winning writer, is known for her no-nonsense yet positive approach to helping young people and their families thrive. Her ground-breaking research at Tufts University on young women is the foundation for her book, “Good Girls Don’t Get Fat: How Weight Obsession Is Messing Up Our Girls and How We Can Help Them Thrive Despite It.”

Photo Credit: Effortless Vitality on stock.xchng

My Friend Wants Me to Bully Others. What Do You Think I Should Do?

February 27, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Throughout February 2012, we’ll be working on the concept of “loyalty.”

All our discussions and activities will aim to help our students understand how to be faithful, steadfast and true to someone or something. We will also help them understand that loyalty doesn’t demand silence when we feel that somebody or something is in the wrong.

Powerful Words is the name of our character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts. It’s designed by one of the nation’s leading childhood development experts, Dr. Robyn Silverman. Every month, we’ll focus on a different Powerful Word, or concept around character development.

In this post, Dr. Robyn answers a question from a parent who’s concerned about her children’s health.

Dear Dr. Robyn,

– Rita G, Brooklyn, NY

Dear Rita G,

Loyalty builds trust and in turn, builds stronger friendships. However, sometimes loyalty, if misunderstood, can be detrimental to ourselves or others. Read the rest of this entry »